I was instantly turned into a fish

Substances: Weed, Whippits(NO2 - nitrous oxide), Alcohol
By: Friends call me J.R., you call me...J.R. also
E-mail: alienenergy@juno.com
Webpage:

I just got off the jet 20 minutes earlier from a 6 hour trip. I needed to get HIGH. I hadn't been high in 1 year and 4 months (legal trouble).
I started the night off at my friends house with a box of whippits. What can I say, it was fantasatic, it was nitrous! Then my friends friend came over and he was a dealer so he packed us a bowl of weed. It was really strong to me, since it had been so long since I last smoked. I was all set.

Then my brother pops out another box of whippits! I said ohhhhh, goody! I knew I would be messed up like never before so I went into the other room and lied on back on my friends bed. I sucked it down. Then I turned into a parrot. So I started flapping my wings (and legs for some reason) and giggled like a little school girl. Then I was instantly turned into a fish, about a minute later.
So I rolled off the bed and started swiming like a fish all around the room (without using my arms). I didn't know what I was doing then, my only existance was in my head, where I was in a space ship in space looking at a black hole surrounded by the classical psycadellic rainbow colors. My body was laughing the whole time, very hard (crying).
Then about 10 minutes after inhaling the baloon, I returned to my physical body, still tremendously high. I noticed that I had been swiming in a square around my friends room, knocking over his dresser and everything. So I just layed there for about another 10 minutes laughing and crying continiously. Then my brother and his friend asked if I wanted to go for a ride to go buy more pot. I did. When I got up, I noticed there was a hair ball from the floor (from swiming)! Ewwww. So I threw it down and got in to the car (with a lot of help).

We were discussing chemistry and drugs and I was sky high, but still in my body. My friend said analgeisic and I died laughing for a good five minutes because i thought it wasn't a word. Then I had to shut up, I was laughing very loud and we were at the dealers house. So I managed to keep it to a loud giggle for a couple minutes.
Then we got home. My brother went home and I was left with my two friends. I sat down and commenced to raiding the poor bastard of his food. I nabbed a bag of chips and sat on the couch and then, there was that damned hair ball in my mouth again! I don't know how. Anyway, we was just kickin' it and then a black fella came and asked to use the phone, but we didn't have one. 10 minutes later he came and asked for a smoke, didn't have any. But my friend said come back in 20 minutes and we will have one after we go to the store.
We went to the store and bought 3 40oz.'s and a pack of smokes. We drank and smoked. Later he came back and asked for one and my friend said yea. So he went around the corner for just a second to get them. My other friend was in the kitchem making some roman noodles. I was standing about 7 feet from the door, everything was very slow. I was holding my pipe and lighter like a 4 year old in front of me, one in each fist.

Then I see another black guy just around the corner. The next thing I see is the barrel of a pistol about one foot away right in front of my face. I see it zoom in and I can even see the riflings in it. He hollers "On the floo motha fucka.", so I looked down because I just felt my havds move. I saw my pipe and lighter were gone. I guess he took them , but still am not sure. So I just layed down on the floor and spread my hands and legs. I knew I was way to high to think about doing anything.
They robbed us for about a good 10 minutes. Then they (3 total, all with pistols) left finally, taking only 10 CD's and my friends empty wallet (we spent his last money on smokes and beer :)). They didn't even take the smokes. My friend calld the cops and 20 minutes later they show up (slow bastards). We already hid all the weed posters and pipes and their plant and everything. So they come in and question us and take our stories. I forgot everything about me, my telephone #, SSN, all that shit. I was reasonably high still.
One cop notices some seeds in a paper towell we forgot to hide, just sprouting. directly below that was a light and below that was the floor with dire everywhere except a perfectly clean circle (where the pot with the pot in it was growing). Kinda obvious. I thought we was all going to jail. They told us to "knock it off". We was like, uhh, ok? Then they left (not before telling us that they thought it was a drug deal gone wrong!). I was robbed at about 3:30 AM.

I went over to my brothers house. So I got there and meat his roomie. Then a cool black fella came over with $50 of hard liquer and some beer. I was drunk like never before! The only time I ever pucked. I got to play with a girl for 10 minutes. Then I thought I would get up and get another kitchen glass (about .75 liter) of >70% alcohol. I got the glass, after running into the fridge and almost knocking it over. I remember heading back to the girl and the very next thing I know, I am on the floor with a blanket over me.
They say I passed out and they drug me into my brothers room (my alcohol was gone :(). So I knew I was on a mission to find that girl again. It is 5:00 AM now and she is asleep. I lay next to her and she woke up. We fooled around somemore and I couldn't get off at all! I got head and a hand job and I wasn't even half way there! She fell asleep while I was playing with her boobies, so I covered her up.

I spent the next 2.5 solid hours beating off without stopping. My arm was all cramped and I was soaked from sweating like crazy! But I was so proud, I finally did it. Then I watched TV for a while. Then she woke up and had to leave for work. I asked her if she got off and she said 4 times! I was kinda jealous, she had to lay there to get off 4 times and I had to do the beatoff-marathon for 2 hours just to get one. At about 9:00 AM my brother woke up and we went directly to the mall and bought more nitrous.
Then we went home and rolled the weed he bought the night before. Somewhere along there I fell off my brothers couch and got like 1/2 of my face 3rd degree rug burned. I was not feeling normal for the next 3+ days (quiet mentally slow). But I am sure this is not normal. I get high very very very easy. The last nickle bag I bought got me high 4 times and then me and a friend got high with it. So don't expect this doing what I did, just my quarky self.

And thats my life story. The highest, drunkest, beatoffedest, robbedest and most busted I have ever been in my live, all in under 24 hours. Hope you like. Oh yea, this was about the middle of March of '02. Use drugs responsably, for the sake of all drug users, don't give us too bad a name.